Dear audiobook “publisher” (distributor, whatever!),

It is very frustrating when you do not put the appropriate book title/author/chapter # - heck, ANY FREAKING DESCRIPTIVE INFORMATION on your audiobooks.  I mean it, VERY frustrating.  Because then I have to take the time to do your job, thereby diminishing my enjoyment of an audiobook before I even have a chance to listen to the first chapter.  If YOU don’t believe in it enough to package it nicely, why should I invest my time?

And really, how long does it take to set up the manufacturing process for audiobooks?  Call me stupid, but with the advent of these things, maybe you heard of them COMPUTERS, you type in the info and hit copy times x # of books.  One time set up, good public service.  To hell with public service though - I am PAYING YOU TO DO YOUR JOB.

Gah.  I already have a job I hate, I don’t need another.

I notice that on the really big authors, James Patterson, Danielle Steel, etc. you take the time - so why not be an equal opportunist.  Share the joy of reading and listening.

Thank you and good night.

I think that if fruit had more protein, I would need nothing else (except my beloved dark chocolate M&M’s and my intravenous supply of Diet Coke).

Today’s fruit consumption:

4 bananas with JUST the right green-to-yellow ratio

1.5 cups of apple

3 kiwis

1.25 cups of blueberries

under consideration: an orange, tempting me from across the room.  However, I think my guts would rebel if I pushed my luck and ate it, so I will likely find another snack since I do plan on sleeping this evening and not carrying on a stimulating conversation with my internal organs.

I LOVE fruit.  Both Lambchop and a dear friend of mine (are crazy and) will only eat fruit if someone cuts it up for them (spoiled!), but even then might not eat it.  And yet, I consume enough fruit for a family of seven.  Bananas are a relatively new addition, at least in these quantities.  I just can not get enough.  Maybe my potassium is low?   All I know is that when they have that perfect green/yellow ratio, I simply cannot control myself and if I don’t eat them fast enough they continue to ripen (or over-ripen in my opinion), and I have to feed them to the dog, or the husband.  I might need a 12-step program soon, though I imagine my fancing them will eventually pass.  I am loving that oranges are about to come back into season (they are in season for a reason people).   

Now vegetables are an entirely different subject - those are borderline gross.  While I realize that not everything I classify as a vegetable is in fact a vegetable but, I treat them like vegetables so you will just have to accept that they are vegetables in my fragile and sheltered, little world.  I like green beans, corn, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, broccoli, carrots…hmm - that might be it.  I will tolerate cooked onions.  I loathe anything with cilantro (spawn of satan) and raw onions are an absolute deal breaker.

Conversely, my husband LOVES onions and LOATHES (with great passion) tomatoes.  WTH?  How are we together?  We can’t even share a sandwich because he won’t eat it if it touched a tomato - one cannot even touch the plate.  I feel similarly about onions, though I can put my big girl pants on and just take them off of said shared meal.  Lambchop also loathes squash/zucchini and between the two of us, there are only so many vegetable choices out there.

Speaking of squash/zucchini, would you like to know WHY Lambchop does not like squash/zucchini?  “Because it is too much like a tomato.”  Really?  Seriously?  I happen to love them both and I don’t think they are alike in any way.  They are about as alike as he and I apparently.  World, do you see what I have to deal with?